My kids will be starting pre-school in a few weeks. It’s a 3 day/2.5 hour, weekly program and school supplies include diaper wipes and glue sticks. Doesn’t really compare to the 10- foot scroll of school supplies necessary for grade school (so I’ve heard). But I’m a wee bit happy I’m not in the weeds of a legit school year. One more year, and I’ll be there. In the meantime, I can’t help but wonder what moms and teachers are doing right now as they prepare for the school year.

Here’s how I like to imagine moms 2 weeks before a new school year is about to begin

The peanut butter & fluff assembly lines have begun set up in the kitchen. Backpacks have been locked and loaded with a wrench, a paperclip and a banana. (Those are on the list, right?) Her back to school happy dance has been choreographed and rehearsed. Show times to be announced, but will take place in the driveway in a heavy cloud of bus smoke trails.

Here’s how I like to imagine teachers 2 weeks before a new school year is about to begin

She/He booked a last minute trip to Vegas. She/He is sniffing glue in a closet and listening to Stairway To Heaven really, really loud.  She/He is getting a tattoo that says “Fuck You!” on her/his forehead.

I’m sure that moms and teachers will rock the school year! But if you see a teacher with a tattoo across their forehead, stop and give them a hug. They probably just lost a lot of money in Vegas.

How do you prepare for the school year? Tell us now at sothishappened@bleepingmotherhood.com, comment below or continue the conversation on Bleeping Motherhood’s Facebook page