Even if you throw your own baby shower, which would be the height of distaste, there is still so much you can’t control.  You can’t control your mother’s eye rolls.  You can’t control Babies-r-us not updating their registry in time so you get three infant swings.  You can’t control the dirty looks your girlfriends are getting for drinking all the wine in the corner (even if you wish you could join them).

All you can control is the way you look.  I remember for mine I picked out the cutest dress that could accommodate my enormous belly.  I spent an hour curling my hair.  I bought a fake engagement ring set because I couldn’t fit in mine.  Then I sit down in a chair at the front of the room to start opening presents and realize immediately my problem.

I couldn’t sit comfortably with my legs slightly spread to accommodate my enormous belly because then I would be flashing all of my family and friends.

My weekly tip for baby showers isn’t about gifts, because people will give weird things and you can’t help it.  My weekly tip is either wear a long dress or pants to your baby shower so you don’t show everyone your underwear.  Or hope you open a baby blanket first so you can cover yourself.