Knock knock.

Who’s there?

The flu.

The flu who?

Shit. Ain’t nobody answering that joke. That’s because the flu is no joke. Before kids, I always wondered how in the hell I would ever manage taking care of my kids if I had the flu. Last winter, it happened. My son came into my room in the middle of the night covered in vomit and I then got whatever he had. Bedridden, I lie there wishing I could just sleep through it, but my aching body was prohibiting me from rest. Thankfully, the illness came upon us over a weekend, and I had my husband there to take care of the kids. What if it’s just you?

Here’s Top 5 Suckiest Times To Have The Flu:

5: When you’re alone with the kids.

If at all possible, don’t get the flu if you’re flying solo. Single parents, you have earned my respect in so many ways. Having the flu, being by yourself to care for small children, that’s just a kick in the tits. Stay healthy and if you do get the flu and you’re the only adult available to take care of little kids, I send you my love!

4: On your birthday.

You wait ALL year to feel special on one day. It’s your day to feel good, and celebrate you. Then you get the flu? What kind of crap is that? No cake, no ice cream, just liquids (if you can keep that down) and a bunch of medicine that does pretty much nothing. Happy Birthday to me? That’s just cruel.

3: On your wedding day.

LOL. Can you imagine? Here comes the bride, all dressed in white…whispers of, “is that puke in her hair?” as you come walking down the isle. Now that’s pretty shitty. What do you even do if you have the flu on your big day? Cancel? If anyone has had the flu on their wedding day, I REALLY want to hear how that went down.

2: The day you bring a new baby home.

Aww. Newborns are so cute. Imagine you’ve just given birth to the most amazing thing in the world. You’re so happy. You’re beyond in love. You finally get to bring the baby home to start your new life. Then a huge case of the Ralphs drops in to make the most incredible time of your life the most miserable. That’s just shitty. No words. Just plain shitty.

1: While giving birth.

Childbirth is probably one of, if not the most important thing I’ve accomplished in my life. Twice. And with all the variables that tag along with what could happen during childbirth, it makes it all the more insane. Why not put a nice cherry on top of all that pain and anxiety and give you the flu as well. How can we make your labor and delivery worse? An epidural needle in your back? An episiotomy? Nope, let’s throw a nice, ripe case of influenza at you and see how you do with that.

Moms, what doesn’t kill us makes us a stronger! Stay healthy my friends.

What has been the worst flu experience as a mom? Tell us now on our Facebook page.