As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, children run away, some more than others.  My children seem to channel Dash on a weekly basis.  I could have my hand on their shoulder one second and grasping at trying to just grab hair a second later.  To that end, I give you:

Top 5 Places I’ve Had A Runaway Toddler

5.  Not the most exciting start, but last summer, my children regularly ran away from home.  Most of the time, it was because I told Mini-ion #1 that he couldn’t do something he wanted (ice cream for breakfast, snow pants in summer).  In those moments, Mini-ion #1 would throw down whatever he had in his hand (feather, spoon, anvil, treasure heirloom) and shout, “that’s it, I’m leaving!” and slam out the door.  Frequently his sister would run up to me, growl, then follow him over to the neighbor’s house.  They never actually got to the neighbor’s back porch, in all their episodes.  Sometimes because I reminded them there were no toys or clean underwear for them there.  Other times because they got distracted by a butterfly or clouds.  I can’t wait to see what this summer brings.

4. When my children go to the kids’ club at the gym, they seem to gain energy, which is awful because after another painful body pump class, I just want to pour myself into the car.  As soon as we open the door of the kids’ club, like a flash they run out the door, down the stairs and to the edge of the pavers that abut the parking lot. Meanwhile I’m moaning and groaning in pain, trying to catch them as quickly as humanely possible.  They always stop at the edge of the pavers, never run into the parking lot, but scare the bejesus out of anyone pulling in.  I know.  The people that have lost their bejesuses have chased me down to tell me.

3. Shortly after having my second, the children and I were at a grocery store.  We were checking out and Mini-ion #1 took off to the parking lot.  Luckily another grandmotherly type woman stopped him in time.  I scooped him up, gave my thanks and hung my head in shame at not being able to do it all on my way to the parking lot.

2. EVERY AQUARIUM MINI-ION #1 HAS EVER BEEN TO!  Apparently Mini-ion #1 isn’t interested in looking at fish slowly.  He likes to blaze past them. Mini-ion #2 loves to dawdle.  Over everything in life.  Including fish.  I learned my lesson early on and now only go to aquariums when I have someone to split the children coverage with.

1. DISNEY WORLD!  Right?  Talk about a nightmare!  Mini-ion #1 dashed off, rounded a corner and stopped, wide-eyed, as he saw his first character, Minnie Mouse.  This is a moment I hope I’ll never forget.