Top 5 Outrageous Things I’d Do If I Ever Had Alone Time:

5: I’d take a shower rigged with expensive audio equipment that played various messages if anyone tried bothering me.

4: I’d buy a $10,000 mattress with 1000 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets, and take a cat nap, naked.

3: I’d lay on the couch all day long and binge watch The Golden Girls eating nothing but cheesecake.

2: I’d lay in a bubble bath all day long and binge watch The Golden girls eatingnothing but cheesecake.

1: I’d get sloppy drunk on my porch and yell inappropriate things at the mailman and passerbys (I might try this anyway).

What outrageous thing would you do if you had a little mommy alone time? Tell us now at sothishappened@bleepingmotherhood.com