Some days you’re happy, some days you’re sad. Some days you want to poke your eyes out and feed them to your husband.

When you’re feeling like queen bee, you wonder, “will the happiness last?” Which one of the children is going to make you lose your shit? And for that matter, will it be over the peas, Frozen or some sibling fight that you’ll need to break up for the 19th time this morning? How do you get yourself out of the funk? Will you take a timeout? Scream in the closet? Drink some wine with your whine? All of the above?

When it does, here are the Top 5 “Oops, did I just say that out loud” moments you may blurt out to your husband when you’re having an “Off Day”:

5: You’re a worthless piece of shit.            `

4: From now on, I will have full ownership of the remote control, and you.

3: I drank all the beer! All of it!

2: BTW, I fucking hate sports. And you.

1: Your mother’s a whore.

Wear a dishtowel next time.  It should get you out of it all.