Top 5 Places To Hide (GET RID OF) Elf On A Shelf:

5: In the garbage.

You know you hate that effing thing. Just throw it away.

4: In a foreign country.

UPS or FedEx ship it to any country, and poof, it’s gone.

3: Outside on a windy day.

Hopefully a big gust of wind will pick it up and send it hurling into the sky, and out of your life forever and ever. Fingers crossed.

2: The Moon.

For $25, N.A.S.A. will take shitty toys up to the Moon and leave them to float in space for all eternity.

1: Grandma and Grandpa’s House:

They bought the damn thing. Let them fuck around with it.