Still doing that elf thing, huh?  I get it, you are caught already.  We’ll help you with that on Friday.  But I’m guessing some day this week you already have or will have forgotten to move the creepy little shit.  I understand because that was me nearly every day during our brief foray into the barrels of elf hell.  In case you need it –

Top 5 Reasons Your Elf Didn’t Move Last Night

1. Distraction Technique – If the kids haven’t noticed yet, get them to run into a different room for a “surprise”.  Have them close their eyes, you move the elf, then jump into the room and theatrically yell surprise.  Really put some effort into your jump/yell so they get further distracted that there is no further surprise coming to them.
2. Too Good Kids – The elf noticed all the good things they did yesterday and picked the same spot hoping to see more of the same.  Even if they kicked and screamed the whole day, you better believe they can pick out something they did that was good the day before.  And, if you get a repeat of that day, its your own damn fault for not moving the elf.
3. Make’em Learn – The Northern Lights were too active last night.  What are the Northern Lights?  Hmmm, let’s ask google!
4. Dual Purpose – The elf is looking for them to donate some toys to other kids that don’t have any.  The next night?  Not enough toys.
5. Truth – The DAMN THING ISN’T REAL!  And offer $5 so they don’t tell their siblings/friends if you need to sweeten the deal.  $5 seems pretty cheap to not have to deal with the elf ever again, right?

What have been some of your excuses for not moving your elf?  Tell us below or continue the conversation on the Bleeping Motherhood facebook page.