After our recent lobster-in-front-of-kids eating experience, I’m loathe to eat delicious food in front of my kids.  They have a long history of trying to ruin my eating experiences.  I mean, many things are probably ok.  They don’t give me much of a hard time if they come across me eating grilled chicken, or a hamburger.  But sometimes, they can really spoil a culinary experience.  With that in mind, we’ve compiled a list of the foods you should definitely eat in a closet while your children are sleeping, so you can truly enjoy it.

Don’t Eat These In Front Of Your Children

5: Ice Cream – yeah, you know as soon as you are tucking in to a bowl of ice cream and your children come along, you’ve lost that ice cream.  My mother-in-law had a hidden trick for that.  She used to enjoy coffee ice cream because she knew her children wouldn’t eat it.  I worry about that – that sounds just like something my children would learn to enjoy and then run around the house like maniacs.

4: Anything in lobster sauce – Whether you like or loathe lobster sauce from your local asian restaurant, let’s be honest.  It looks like boogers.  And I’ve spent a lot of time trying to convince my children not to eat their boogers.  If they aren’t yucking your yum on it, then they think it is open season on their nostril and will walk away digging for gold.

3: Creme Brulee – This concern comes from more of a serving perspective.  Because they light it on fire.  I feel pretty confident my children would be so interested that they would walk away from the experience with no more eye brows.  Perhaps you have less of a concern with your children?  Go ahead, give it a try and let me know how it goes.

2: Pistachios in the shell – This seems crazy, right?  Pistachios are packed with goodness, right?  Who doesn’t love a pistachio?  Exactly, just the problem.  Picture this.  You are sitting there, happily shelling and eating the yummy treats.  One of your darling offspring walks by and either invades your space for 15 questions on what you are doing so you give them a nut, or you very altruistically offer a shelled nut to see if they like it.  How could they not like it?  But here’s the problem, they can’t open it.  And they love it.  And they want more, and more and more!  Your casual pistachio shell opening and popping them in your mouth has turned in to a full scale operation of opening pistachio nuts as fast as you can in order to keep your darling offspring from turning in to a pistachio fueled devil child.

1: Oysters – Yum yucking and glaring children at its finest.  Because you realize that oysters are alive until you eat them.  When raw oysters die, they harbor large numbers of bacteria which can make you sick.  Are they delicious?  I think so.  Try explaining that to your wide-eyed children though.  Pretty soon you’ll be setting up an oyster tank and googling “what do oysters eat”.

What else would you add to this list?  Have you experienced eating any of these in front of your children?  Tell us by commenting below!