Families can really take some heat when it comes to going out to eat.  Of course there are some parents that completely disregard their children, and some parents that give their children tablets at the moment of sitting.  People will be quick to judge those (but we think, you do you).

However some parents come in with seemingly calm, well behaved children and upon stepping in to a restaurant, that all changes.  What is it?

I’ve personally experienced some of my own children’s demons that I had no idea they had inside of them.  Let me tell you, its pretty terrifying.  Going in to the restaurant thinking we’re going to have a great experience, then disaster strikes.  As I’m trying to keep what’s left of my sanity while salvaging what I can to make it a good experience, I can’t help imagining the reddit entry that will show up on the internet by some angry bystander.  Do families get a bad rap at restaurants?  Yes.  Is it always deserved?  Maybe not.  Do restaurants accidentally pump in some air that releases the hidden inner demon that some children posses? Maybe.  Maybe that’s far fetched.  But if you’ve experienced some of these demons that have come out of your children, I think you’ll agree.

Top Five Demonss Your Children Turn In To At Restaurants

5 – Entitlement Demon: Your server comes to your table cheerfully to take your drink orders and your child starts chanting, “bread! bread! bread!” in their face!  What?  Never in your experience have you ever treated another human being like that (or at least not around your kids) and this behavior seems to have erupted out of nowhere!

4 – Championship Pitching Demon: Somehow your server has agreed to come back to your table and brings a basket of rolls.  All of a sudden, your child turns in to a highly sought after baseball pitcher, using the rolls  as his or her ball of choice.  While it strikes you that when you toss a baseball at home, your child seems to release at all the wrong moments, at a restaurant, you wonder (while trying to either dodge or catch) if you should be calling the recruiter for the Yankees.

3 – Screaming Demon: By some miracle, you’ve gotten your child organized enough to give you an idea of what to order for him and her.  Phew!  Now the wait for the food to arrive.  You pull out the bag of tricks either you’ve brought, the restaurant has provided, or both.  But suddenly, nothing works!  NOTHING WORKS!  And while you try desperately to not inconvenience others and keep your child happy, the only thing that will make them happy is screaming.  Either in anger or delight.  Either screaming, “stop hurting me” when you are out of range, or laughing maniacally at the top of their lungs.   Why?  You have no idea.  But it is some of the most horrifying noises you’ve ever heard, let alone coming from your child.

2 – Worm Demon: Let’s not forget the wiggling worm demon that is probably on-going through all the rest of the demon behavior.  I think no child, under the age of 10 is able to sit without moving.  This phenomenon seems to be amplified at a restaurant.  Is it the restaurant air or maybe restaurant music that controls your child’s movement and forces them to wiggle and dance, much like the dead guy at Weekend At Bernie’s?  In seconds, they’ve rolled down the seats, under the table, and wiggled to standing in a dead glare with the innocent restaurant patron next to you.  Inches from their face.  Meanwhile you are still struggling to move your legs to cage them under the table and already they’ve wiggled through.  Sneaky little demons.

1 – Food Critic Demon: Finally!  The food arrived.  You feel reassured that you’ll have some peace as your children dig in to the kid food that they always enjoy.  Except…….there is one random spec of ketchup, barely discernible to the human eye, but a giant red flag to the food critic demon.  This demon who can’t spot their shoes when they are standing next to them, this demon who couldn’t find butter in a fridge full of butter, is uniquely able to find a misdirected speck of ketchup, or a sandwich cut in the wrong direction, or steak fries as opposed to stick fries.  And now are completely unable to eat.  So you make the choice – do you get a new plate of something else? Do you insist they eat it amid cries and screams? Do you pack up to go?  Do you pour your drink over your head?

Yes, there are many wonderful benefits of taking children to restaurants (I’ve heard).  And, if you can survive the demons, you may eventually experience those benefits yourself!

What has been your experience taking your children to restaurants?  Have you ever experienced any of these demons, or have some new ones to share?  Tell us!