If you have, or will soon have a toddler under the roof, then this one’s for you:

You have a toddler, which means you have approximately 3 years of acts of toddlerisms that will affect you in various ways. You have (Godspeed) been “Toddlered”.

Let me clarify-

Toddlered: Anything in the immediate 2 mile radius of you, your family, or main dwelling space (North, South, East or West) that has been directly affected by the acts of a toddler. May include person, place or thing. Emotions and self confidence may also be at risk for being “Toddlered”.

We received some excellent questions from moms and dads, and wanted to provide the top “TODDLERED” FAQs for you here:

Q: How do I know if I’ve been “Toddlered”?

A: If you have a toddler, you’ve been Toddlered.

Q: What if my toddler is pretty good, and I have not showed any signs of being “Toddlered”.

A: You are in “Pre-Toddlered” stage. You will be fucked in 3-6 months.

Q: Is there a difference between “Toddlered” and “Toddlerized”?

A: Not really. You can call it whatever you like, either way, you’re up shits creek.

Q: Can you provide an example of being “Toddlered”?

A: See examples below. Keep in mind, ways that your toddler will get you Toddlered up will vary. These are examples only, and your real life situation will vary.

Do you have a toddler? Tell us how you were Toddlered today!