“Threenager”

Definition, a three year old that acts like teenager.

Do you sometimes wonder where your child’s little attitude came from? Just yesterday they were all cute and adorable, then just like that, BAM! They hit you with some serious ‘tude. Or, they totally schooled you and now you feel like they are 3 going on 13.

Yup, that’s a threenager alright.

I think a rule of thumb as a parent should be that you shouldn’t be afraid of the threenager. Just let the threenager be. Let this stage of parenting wash over you like a cold shower that you just simply have to take, (because your kid just flushed the toilet, and you really, really smell. )

I have seen enough signs of my child as a threenager to know when the threenager is about to make an appearance. So when these moments present themselves, I typically like to grab a few things and hide.

Here’s 3 items I grab when threenager antics are bubbling:

1: A bottle of water. Gotta stay hydrated.

2: My cell phone. If I need to call for help, I’ll need my phone. I’ll also need to post some selfies on Facebook and Instagram to prove to society that I’m still kickin’.

3: Bag of Doritos. Doritos won’t provide the necessary nourishment needed during threenager fits, but if you’re gonna go, why not go happy.

Now, I have tried out several places around my house to hide out during threenager shit shows, but here’s 3 places that I’ve found to be not only efficient, but pretty damn genius.

3 places to hide during threenager tantrums:

1: My car. No kid is looking for you in the car. That is if you can get outside without them noticing.

2: Your coat closet. Of all the closets, kids really don’t give a shit about coats. Hide there for a while, then move to your next location as needed.

3: Under the covers in their bed. They’re not trying to take a nap any time soon. So their bed will act as your safe zone.

And don’t be stupid and try and hide out in the bathroom. You know you have no business having any alone time in the bathroom. And so do they. And finally, Godspeed.

Have a threenager? Tell us your threenager story at sothishappened@bleepingmotherhood.com