I was struck by something I read on a facebook group about being a “fun” mom.  A woman was venting that her daughter whispered to Santa Claus her Christmas list, but wouldn’t tell her parents because she wanted to see if Santa was real or not.  The discussion continued of other moms commenting about the efforts they took in similar situations to “keep the magic alive” until finally one mom commented, “Have you considered how much time and effort we put into continuing a lie?”

Whoah.  Mind blown.

In my house, I’m thinking about hiding gifts.  Not just their gifts, but the gifts that “Santa” gives the rest of our family.  Hiding wrapping paper so they don’t know question how Mom and Santa have the same wrapping paper.

As if explaining how Santa visits every house in one night isn’t enough, but then how he can be at the mall, at the tree lot, at the parade and the 300 other holiday festivals/lightings/cluster fucks that you know you’ll attend to ramp up the magic of the holiday season.

For the skiddish child, you have to convince them that it’s cool that someone breaks in to your house to leave gifts and is always WATCHING THEM. That scares me!  I’m still worried about whether my grandmother can see me from heaven when hubby and I have a few drinks, I can’t imagine how the children feel!

Then you have the Pinterest moms that leave Santa footprints around the house, make reindeer feed and religiously move the creepiest little elf that I’ve ever seen.

What about people that don’t have fireplaces……WHAT DO THEY DO?  They are screwed!  Do those moms break a window every Christmas eve?

And have you seen the emotional appeal to parents to not have Santa give them too many great gifts because all Santas aren’t created equal?

ALL THIS FOR SOME FUCKING MAGIC?  Can I just fill a balloon with glitter confetti and pop it in my kid’s face?  Won’t that be magical?

And with that new found time I’ll do something constructive.  Like cleaning my house.  Because that won’t get messed up again an hour later.