I went grocery shopping today, my big day out by myself without the kids. After ordering my deli ham, the counter guy handed it to me and said, “It must be your only day to yourself, huh?”

Deli ham guy was right. He knew the deal. I had a pep in my step. A calm about me. A cocky attitude. I was riding solo on the supermarket train. A badass. Some call it, gangster.

There’s nothing more cool than going grocery shopping, without the kids. There seems to be a faint wind blowing through my hair as I walk down aisle 5. People everywhere stop to ask me, “do you know where I can find the macaroni and cheese?” I tell them, “2 aisles down, on your left.” They see me as a person who knows things and who can get stuff.

Who am I? I’m a next level parenting gangster

WTF does that mean? All this means is that I create situations for myself, as a mom, to feel good. When I feel good, I’m a better person, and a better mom. My energy is better and that in turn creates abundance in various aspects of my life. I find the path of least resistance as much as possible and ride it out until the next mishap. And then, when the mishaps are building up, I ride solo to the grocery store, where I can be Vito Corleone for a hot minute. A “Made Mom” if you will.

While I’m playing with some bananas in the produce department, I notice some moms from the corner of my eye with their kids, and think, shit, not me. Not today.

Dating back to when my kids were very small, infants even, I have memories of strapping them into the grocery cart. Toting them around as they scream for that ice cream, or cookies, or toy. And surviving the checkout aisle where all of the candy bars and last minute toddler magnets are strategically place, just to fuck up the last 10 minutes of the shopping experience.

So when I am doing a grocery trip without the kids, it is a bit of a sacred therapy session. When my daughter asks very politely and cutely, if she can tag along, I almost say yes. Almost.
But if you want to be a next level parenting gangster, you have to give yourself those cocky, childfree moments. You have to go out into the world, even if it is the freaking grocery store, and be you.

As I wrap up my business, a woman tries to let me ahead of her in the checkout line. But I’m not with my kids today. I’m in no hurry to get home. I thank her and tell her that her gesture has not gone unnoticed. Respect amongst moms is of highest importance.

How will you know if you’ve achieved gangster status? When you’re leaving the store, and exiting the doors, and you’re simmering in your triumph of being done with your shitty grocery trip (because admit it, even though you just got 30 minutes of kid-free time, grocery shopping is the pits), and you see a mom entering the door just starting her trip, with her kids…you know the feeling. Gangster.

Are you a gangster mom? Tell us about it now. Comment below or continue the conversation on the Bleeping Motherhood facebook page.