The other day I was sitting at my computer while my screen saver scrolled through my picture library.  It was great – hilarious pictures of kids drooling, dancing, laughing.  There was a great one of my then two-year old daughter wearing a skirt, leg warmers and bunny ears.  No shirt and no smile.  That ensemble sure gave me a smile and maybe snort of laughter when I considered how I’d blackmail her with it in the future.  You know what I didn’t see?  Pictures of me with the kids.

Moms, Get In The Picture

I thought I had done better than that.  Maybe four or five years ago, I read the majority of an article (because who actually reads the whole article anymore?) about a mom that didn’t get in the picture.  You can guess how that went – obviously she died way too early and her kids never had enough pictures with her.  I get it, thoughts of your eyes welling up are already starting – STOP!  We’re not going that route.

After reading that article, I started trying to make a concerted effort to post on Facebook, monthly pics with the kids.  Reminding myself and my friends to do it too.  And most months, at least one year, I got a pic of me and my kids posted.  Despite bed head, pajamas or a messy background, I still documented our time together.  And my kids know how to rock some bed head.

As many things go when you have kids, those pictures became less and less of a priority.  Laundry, gymnastics, dinner, schoolwork, …..you get it.  All those things you thought you do get de-prioritized to the things you need to do to survive.  But this is important, and let me tell you why.

Moms, Get In The Picture

Very few mothers I’ve ever met have said they want to instill the values of doubt and insecurity in the lives of their children.  And when I say very few moms, I mean none.  No mom I’ve ever met wants their child to feel insecure about themselves.  Their very first role model on confidence is you.  If they see you acting confident, they start to understand they can be to.  You don’t have to be perfectly poised and confident to show confidence to your children.  But you can show them confidence in yourself, by getting in the picture.

I know you’ve got a ton of reasons not to.  Your greys are showing, your hair is sticking out, your skin is flaring up.  You know what your kid sees?  That very first person they fell in love with, rocking some of those very things you call flaws but actually make them love you more.

That mommy pouch I still have from carrying two beautiful babies is the first part of my body my kids cling to when they need comfort and support.  Do I wish it wasn’t there, you betcha.  But it doesn’t define me, and it shouldn’t stop me from getting in the picture with my kids.

Moms, Get In The Picture

The next reason is that you are helping shape their definition of beauty.  You are their first barometer of it.

I can remember when my daughter, probably around two, was very attune to what other people defined as beautiful.  She kept asking us and others if she or other things were beautiful.  And she was potty training.  While I stood in the doorway, coaching her on the steps of using the potty, I happened to glance in the bathroom mirror and luckily stopped myself from shuddering.

She looked at me, seemingly sensing my thoughts (and because I think she might have a super power that can see in to my soul) and asked me if I thought I was beautiful.

We’ve ALL been there.  Wearing comfy clothes that were mostly clean, a face that hasn’t had eyebrows plucked or a facial (let alone makeup) in over a year, my momma pouch I referenced earlier, hair that hadn’t been adjusted since I had put it in a ponytail the night before.  I was a sight to behold.  Frankly, I was surprised my children hadn’t assumed I was a monster that creeped out from under their bed already.

I took a deep breath and realized it was one of those defining moments.  A beauty defining moment..  I looked back at the mirror, looked past the wild and crazy image reflected back and looked into the soul of the person and said, “yes – I’m beautiful”.

Moms, Get In The Picture

It’s hard.  It’s hard to make public pictures that don’t always feel that flattering.  Worried about the judgement or the snarkiness you may get from others.  I get it.  But we encourage you to rise above it.  Take the picture with your kids, even if you have change the angle, add seven filters or just run a quick brush through your hair.

I love posting it in my personal Facebook feed because now, year after year, it comes up in my memories.  Sometimes I see an awkward hair style, an unmade bed or a wardrobe choice I wish I hadn’t made.  But I always see a momma and kids who love each other.

Moms, Get In The Picture

If you checked out our other site, We Are Real Moms, you’ll know that we feature moms with their kids along with their stories.  You’ll also see that we’ve started doing monthly Instagram contests.  Our prompts for May will involve getting you in the picture with your kids.  Want/need the challenge to take more pictures with your kids?  Like us at @warmbybym and play along.  10 days, 10 prompts, 10 memories.

My mother-in-law passed away almost seven and a half years ago.  She wasn’t one for getting in the picture – that’s my inspiration.  Do you have one?