Brad from the Cosmic Geppetto Podcast is back with us, getting us excited for Father’s Day.

I know what it is going to be like. It’s my eighth Father’s Day as an actual father.

There will be no sleeping in. The kids wake up 6am every weekday. Why should the weekend be different?

Since the kids are up, the dog will want to join the fun. It’s time to play! And be fed! What’s the harm barking for five straight minutes before the sun is up?

I’ll squeeze my eyes shut and will myself back to sleep. Logan, my six-year-old son, won’t let that stop him. He is willing to pry my eyes open. It is important he shares the following:

• He’s hungry.
• The dog is making a weird noise.
• He has to pee.
• How about cornflakes?
• The dog isn’t making the noise anymore and now he knows where his missing sock went.

Logan will explain this in one long sentence that is spoken quietly because he doesn’t want to wake Mom.

I’ll wake up. I’ll make breakfast. I’ll clean the dog’s crate. I will grumble about it being too early.

Logan, who is always the first one up, will sit in the chair next to mine. He’ll smile his winning smile as he eats the same cereal Daddy likes. He might say, “Happy Father’s Day, Daddy,” because he is surprisingly good at remembering holidays.

I’ll toussle his hair. I’ll kiss the top of his head and tell him I love him.

Then I’ll whisper, “When you’re a teenager, you will try sleeping till noon. When that happens, I’m dumping ice water on you.”

Because I’m petty enough to wait the better part of a decade for revenge on my offspring. And isn’t that what Father’s Day is all about?

Oh…it isn’t? What do you expect? I haven’t slept past 6:45AM in eight years.

Brad Mendenhall is the Host / Co-Founder of the Cosmic Geppetto Podcast, where he talks about all things geeky.

His son Logan likes pressing his naked rear end against the shower curtain and yelling at the person in the tub, “I’m a Butt Bomber!” It’s cute and funny, but Brad hopes it stops by the time Logan hits his teens.