Written by Rachel Gorton, our Bleeping Sleep Expert

The other day I got a call from a woman, whom like many of the moms I work with, was desperate for sleep.

As I do with all of my clients I started to ask her questions to find out exactly what was going on, and what her end goal was. Although I get various responses to this question, the goal is almost always the same for everyone I speak with…more sleep!

This was true for this woman as well.

However, in addition to needing more sleep she also mentioned to me that she had 2 weeks flat to get this sleep thing down before she goes back to work and her husband starts a new job. It’s a good thing this consult was over the phone because the expression on my face I’m sure would have made her re-think hiring me.

Disclaimer: this is not a rant or bash on this woman, that wouldn’t be the smartest business practice. 

But this was one of those times that reminded me just how much of an “instant result” driven society we live in.

It is totally not her fault.  Our culture has adopted and embraced the idea of having services and products at your fingertips.  Diets promise 10lb weight loss in a week and get rich quick models are on the rise. I am not going to even try and say that I haven’t tried one or two of these popular food trends or entertained the idea of a company that promises I will become a millionaire.  And I don’t blame others for being enticed either.  Who wouldn’t want to become a skinny millionaire in 6 months?

The demand for instant results is not only the norm, it is embraced and advertised everywhere you turn.

So what if I told you that not only can I not guarantee your child will end up sleeping 12 hours each night, but what I can guarantee is that it will take a while to get there.

Would you still work with me?

 Getting Sleep Results

You’ve likely heard the expression “It’s worth the wait”

Or

“It’s a marathon not a sprint”

I use these phrases often in my profession.  And truthfully, I think I loose a lot of clients because of this.  Being a naturally impatient person, I have learned throughout my lifetime that most things that are instant don’t last.  And after a lot of failed diets, endeavors, and overall disappointment, I have learned to shift my focus a bit.

Back to sleep.

I want to give you a few solid reasons why you should absolutely embrace the process of sleep teaching and why you should run from any program that promises you instant results.

•  It likely took months and possibly years to form your child’s sleep habits. Again with a cheesy phrase, “they say it takes 30 days to form a new habit”; and actually further research suggests it can take up to 12 weeks. Sleep teaching is no exception. When we start to introduce new sleep patterns, environments, etc. your child is going to need adequate time to adjust.  Look at it this way, if it took you 5 years to gain 20 lbs, you wouldn’t expect to lose that in 2 or 3 months would you? You might want to, but we all know that isn’t realistic.
• Not all sleep methods are safe and the right option for your child. There are many times when I see babies respond extremely well when starting the process of sleep teaching and we see progress quickly. But your child is unique and you should treat her as such. Just because something worked for your sister’s child, doesn’t mean that it is right for yours. There are many physical and mental contributors to a child’s sleep patterns and being aware of the right options and taking these factors into consideration is extremely important.
• Sleep teaching can be a bonding experience. I used to pray for patience. Well instead of becoming more patient, I was granted with opportunities to practice patience. It took me awhile to realize this, but once I did I saw bonding opportunities with my child…even in tantrum moments.  Bedtime is a great time to bond with your child.  As a working Mom I am totally exhausted at bedtime and honestly I just want my child to fall asleep quickly so I can go to bed too.  But I have come to love these moments and I know my child looks forward to this time each night.
• Ask yourself if you are setting up your child for success. If your 7 year old comes to you and says he wants to play in little league and make it to the play-offs, would you tell him to start practicing two weeks before hand? No, you would encourage weeks of practice in order to prepare for such an endeavor.  Most people don’t know that the first couple weeks of sleep teaching are actually laying foundations.  I typically don’t introduce any type of sleep method until about week 3 or 4 or once foundations are solid.
• You’ve got to give it time to stick.  A few years ago I went on a strict diet and exercise program that promised significant weight loss after 30 days.  Well 30 days seemed like an eternity and I wanted to see results sooner.  I tried it out for 1 week and actually ended up gaining a pound.  “To hell with this”, I said and gave up. Similarly, when teaching your child healthy sleep habits, a lot of people implement a method and experience one week of sleep hell and decide to give up.  I get it, when you don’t see light at the end of the tunnel, giving up seems like the only option.  But as much as I think most of us hate to admit it, there is almost no challenge in life that doesn’t take time to overcome.

What have been your results in sleep teaching?  Comment below or continue the conversation on the Bleeping Motherhood Facebook page.