Daaaamn, motherhood is expensive! I remember being pregnant and hearing about how expensive children are, but nothing really truly prepares you for it until you are in it.  And you realize what an utter money pit these little bundles of joy are.

Clothing

From the get go, they are draining you.  The first time I realized I needed to replace their entire wardrobe EVERY THREE MONTHS!  I can’t believe people haven’t created clothes that will grow with the children over the first two years.  For my first born, I started skipping sizes in order to save money.  He totally skipped 2T – going from way to tight 18-124 month clothes to falling down/falling over/falling off 3T clothes.  Now at seven, I still refuse to pay a lot because of how quickly they go through them.  And may buy his shoes two sizes bigger so they last longer.  Although, if he doesn’t quit stopping his bike with his sneakers, they might last long enough to actually fit him.

Bathroom Gear

Now that we’re almost completely out of the diaper phase (we’ve resorted to cloth diapers for the remaining night time accidents, in order to save money), I can look back at that with humor.  About the amount of money spent on changing diapers, wipes, devices to hold the smell, devices to hold the diapers and other assorted devices that you ABSOLUTELY NEED.  I think I had a different changing pad device for every room in the house and different scenarios in the outside world.  And I still find random diapers that have been squirreled around the house.  Just this weekend I found a wipes container, with actual wipes still in it.

Toys

That first Christmas with our seven month old baby, had I only known not to buy toys.  That those blasted toys would start to take up every square inch of our house and that he wasn’t getting any intellectual growth from them.  But, buy them I did.  His first Christmas!  Now, trying not to re-mortgage our house every Christmas is the goal.  Yes, we could follow the 4-gift rule, but we don’t.  And as they get older, the gifts just get more expensive.  Luckily we didn’t get in to the hatchimal craze of last year, but God bless all you parents that did.  And to think, seven short years ago we could have gotten away with a $10 toy and this year our budget exceeded well over $200.  Which half of I’ve already found on the floor.

Activities

We’ve tried to stay simple on our extra-curricular activities, but its been a struggle.  Part of it is that I don’t want to add that level of crazy busy-ness, but also, IT IS GOD DAMN EXPENSIVE!  Maybe we’re bad parents, but we’ve convinced our kids to get involved in things that cost almost nothing.  Soccer and gymnastics – so far we’ve bought a couple of leotards, cleats and shin guards (multiple shin guards – did you know you could only buy a single shin guard?  I had the misfortune of doing that).  Hats off to the parents that do multiple activities with gear that ranges in the hundreds!  You think once you stop buying diapers you’ll be saving money, until you start buying soccer shoes and basketball shoes and football shoes (why won’t just sneakers work for a five year old??).

Vacations

Remember when you could just sneak away for a quick weekend getaway and it didn’t put you in debt?  A family trip to Disney World could set you back $10k!  Destinations that used to be a cheap flight now quadruple in price to bring your whole family!  And they still demand you feed them, and do the activities that keep adding more and more and more to the price.  If you don’t come back with multiple souveniers, than you are obviously a bad parent!

In 2017, CNN Money said it cost $233,610 to raise a child in today’s money.  One single child.  It’s a good thing those children give such great hugs.  They may be expensive hugs, but hopefully the quantity helps make up for it all!