Ahh – Thanksgiving. So many reasons to give thanks for being a parent. Here are my top 5 reasons for giving thanks this Thanksgiving:
5. When our co-sleeping child hasn’t wet our bed
4. When our kid actually eats the food they take from our plate instead of spitting it out on the rest of our food.
3. When I’m […]
Real quick, can we just talk about things that are actually innocent but end up seeming EXTREMELY inappropriate –ESPECIALLY if we’re out in public?
You know what I mean, right? Your kid does or says something really awkward that in actuality is no big whip, but you know it’s inappropriate. Okay, so let’s take that moment, […]
The places that I’ve cleaned up pee where I know my child knows to go on the toilet but is just out to get me.
5. In her pants, two minutes after asking her if she needs to go pee and her saying no.
4. On the bathroom carpet, in front of the toilet.
3. Any party we’ve been […]
This week on Bleeping Motherhood, we are diving into all the crazy stuff that we do as moms. Wiping asses is just part of the territory.
So here’s Top 5 Poops and Diaper Change Experiences That Moms Know All To Well:
5: The Blowout: And no, I don’t mean the luxurious, salon blow-dry service.
This is every parent’s […]
5: You Got It, Dude!
This feel-good phrase is pure gold. I love it, and you should too.
4: How Rude!
This one has evolved a bit. Now, people like to say “step off bitch”, or “oh no he dih’nt”. Call me old fashioned, but I think a good old “how rude” still goes a long way.
3: Cut. […]
TODDLERED horror stories that could have been avoided, as told by moms/dads who survived the incident:
5: “How do I even begin to describe the horror?”
I was getting ready to dress my newborn for his Baptism. My toddler somehow got a used tampon out of the trash, and got it all over the Christening outfit.
The Baptism […]
At the bus stop, parents openly express their fears and cheers. At the bus stop, parents negotiate who had the most insane morning. At the bus stop, parents talk about their hopes for the day.
I give you:
Top 5 Legit Mom Fears At The Bus Stop:
5: I hope my kid doesn’t get lice today.
4: I’m afraid […]
I had a few, albeit short instances on vacation where the kids were napping and I could just lay in the sun and enjoy my freaking self. In those rare moments, I was able to tune into what other parents were doing and saying. Here’s my faves:
Top 5 Ridiculous, Yet Amazingly Awesome Things I Heard […]
Top 5 Events That Caused Wicked Huge Bitch Rants:
5: That time it was raining, but I wanted it to be sunny. (Sounds like my toddler is rubbing off on me, huh?)
[…]
“If Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer Had Kids On Seinfeld” Episodes:
5: Kramer becomes President of his son’s PTA, and accidentally burns the school down when he attempts to make a grilled cheese sandwich in the science lab.
4: George slips into a depression because his newborn is bald and he thinks the baby is mocking him.
3: […]
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