Top 5 Outrageous Things I’d Do If I Ever Had Alone Time:
5: I’d take a shower rigged with expensive audio equipment that played various messages if anyone tried bothering me.
4: I’d buy a $10,000 mattress with 1000 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets, and take a cat nap, naked.
3: I’d lay on the couch all day […]
Moms are late, but is it really our fault? Here are some reasons we’ve been late – can you relate?
5 – My children were in a knock-down, drag-out fight. Once I finally pulled them apart and quieted the screaming, I found out it was because one of them took an imaginary wand from the other. […]
TOP 5 Hellish Mom Moments You Could Have Done Without (True Stories, and yes, I am looking for some compassion, and yes you can feel sorry for me):
5: Your dermatologist found a few questionable moles and wants to remove them right then and there, and you have both kids with you, and your little one […]
Sometimes breastfeeding goes perfectly – the baby latches immediately, your supply is great and your child self-weans at just the right time. For those three people that it happened to, good for you!
For those that struggled all through breastfeeding, or weren’t ever able to make it work, our deepest sympathy. For the rest of us, […]
Top 5 Mommy Wins that will make you feel like a million bucks — none of which include or have anything to do with Charlie Sheen, thank you very much:
5: Getting to shower at least twice in a single week. To most that seems gross. For me, it’s a HUGE win. Gennifer L., Mom of […]
5: Anything involving a child’s fart that potentially seems like it came from your own butt.
4: Swear words uttered by your toddler that would make a prison guard blush.
3: Your toddler telling strangers about how you and daddy were doing yoga this morning, naked.
2: A child accidentally setting a building on fire. Now that was […]
In this week’s Suck On This, I talked about a recent experience I had with my kids who experimented with couch cushion stuffing. Now, I will explore:
Top 5 Things I could do with couch cushion cotton stuffing:
5: Place it in bunches all over my floor, smoke a ton of pot and pretend I’m sitting on […]
Top 5 Places To Hide (GET RID OF) Elf On A Shelf:
5: In the garbage.
You know you hate that effing thing. Just throw it away.
4: In a foreign country.
UPS or FedEx ship it to any country, and poof, it’s gone.
3: Outside on a windy day.
Hopefully a big gust of wind will pick it up and […]
Does fruitcake ever go bad?
Today’s post is huge – HUGE! First, a hilarious Top 5 list written by author Scott Cohn, who has been featured on Men’s Health and Huffington Post. He’s also the author of the book, Daddy Said A Word I Never Heard, which we’ll tell you how to enter to get a FREE copy of below. But […]
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