Are your boobs crazy-sweaty?

Does your breast undercarriage feel like an armpit and smell like a swamp?

Pre-kids, I sort of had this problem. But after two kids, I now have a couple of droopers. What’s under those droppers? Sweat. Sticky, smelly, uncomfortable sweat.

Luckily, there’s this new thing called, “ The Breast Hammock” . It’s a towel for your tits.

I haven’t tried out the official product yet, but since I’m in the thick of 80 degree, hot summer days, I thought it might be neat to try making my very own. After all, breast sweat is a thing. And gosh darn it, it’s a little gross. But at retail price of $45 per official Ta-ta Towel, I’d rather try making one myself.

How To Make Your Very Own Boob Hammock

If I told you that Boob Hammocks were super easy to make with only 2 supplies, you’d probably try it out right now, yes?

Okay, so here’s what you need. And by the way, if you don’t have these 2 supplies in your home right now, you’re probably living in a cave. In which case, you don’t have Wifi, Internet, or Facebook. So fixing boob sweat is probably not a top priority for you.

You’ll need:

• A Sports Bra
• A Medium-Sized Towel (one that is long enough to cover your danglers)

Now the next steps are super simple and you could build your very own Boob Hammock totally wasted, if you had to. Not that I was under the influence during my breast sweat towel invention, but it probably would have been more fun had I been 5 wines deep. But I digress…

What’s next?

So, you have a sports bra and a towel. Put your sports bra on, then neatly put the medium-sized towel around your neck.

Next, tuck the bottom of the towel right up under the sports bra. Tuck enough so that it’s A, comfortable and 2, able to collect enough sweat. So in other words…cram that towel in the crevice of your ta-tas —so that it’s all up in the sweaty spots, concentrating on the saltiest areas.

Tada! You’re free to get ready without feeling like a hot mess.

You should really try my makeshift breast hammock. Seriously, you don’t even need to spend money on the real thing. This does the job quite nicely.

I’ve found this method comes in handy mostly when you’re trying to get ready, after chasing down a couple of assholes, err, I mean your children. Most women can attest that you tend to sweat profusely in the bathroom mirror, while trying to do your hair or makeup –especially in the summertime. Right?

Bonus Tip: Take a small ice pack, or bag of frozen peas, and tuck it under the towel on your neck. This will keep you extra cool on those super hot, summer days. (Great for mamas who are 9 months prego in the summer heat!)

Test it out and tell us what you think. Or better yet, share your Boob Hammock hacks and selfies with us in the comments below or on our
Facebook page.