Remember how cute and adorable your life was B.C. (BEFORE CHILDREN)?

You slept in on Saturdays until like, what, 9:45 a.m.?

You got a mani-pedi every Friday after work?

You enjoyed your piping hot coffee every Sunday morning curled up with your favorite book.

You had perky boobs.

You had two eyebrows.

Now, you’re a mom. It’s fantastic, right? “Being a mom is great”, they said. “Yes, go and do that”, they said.

You get to wake up at 6 a.m., or better yet, not sleep at all!

Your toenails and fingernails are chipped and gnarly.

You microwave your cup of coffee 5 to 7 times until you decide you’re just gonna drink that mother fucker cold.

Your boobs droop like 2 deflated footballs.

And plucking your eyebrows is so far down on the priority list, you could probably French braid ‘em if you really tried.

Sound familiar? I recently tried to remember a time before kids. Things I used to do, or take for granted. Like extra time to do silly shit. Shit that didn’t seem so silly then, doesn’t seem so important now.

Like drinking water.

…or peeing.

…or pooing.

…or showering.

…or eating.

…or changing out of black leggings.

You know, silly little things like that.

You see, motherhood has and will change you forever. You can’t go back. No backsies.

But, you can daydream and live vicariously through all of the soon to be moms…the ones who have no clue. The ones who still have two perky hooters. That bright-eyed first time pregnant mama in Target setting up her baby registry has no clue what she’s in for.

We’re chuckling with you, not at you.

This club called motherhood is forever. For all the moms in the club, we salute you. For all the women about to become moms, pluck those eyebrows and enjoy that hot coffee now!

What are your funniest “pre-mommy” memories that you miss? Tell us now on our Facebook page. https://www.facebook.com/bleepingmotherhood/