When I wake up in the morning, I don’t say, “Jeez, I really hope I cry today.” Crying as a mom, for me, is usually unexpected. Especially with all our wild hormones splashin’ around in our lady guts. I’m not a crier. In fact, I’m an ugly crier, so when I feel the waterworks comin’ on, I’m all, “oh great, this is […]
In this week’s Suck On This, I talked about a recent experience I had with my kids who experimented with couch cushion stuffing. Now, I will explore:
Top 5 Things I could do with couch cushion cotton stuffing:
5: Place it in bunches all over my floor, smoke a ton of pot and pretend I’m sitting on […]
Remember the good ol days when you meticulously and painstakingly bought gifts for your kids and they adored you for it, and played with the toys all day? Hmm, well remember yesterday when your kids didn’t want to play with any of those toys and instead played with the empty cardboard box?
How about when they discovered the stuffing inside the couch cushions? […]
After the presents have been unwrapped and the roast has been eaten, here are some favorite clips to keep you in the holiday mood. Most of these could probably apply to my real life holiday adventures, minus the hot iron to my forehead.
Elf
National Lampoons Christmas Vacation:
A Christmas Story
Home Alone
If you want to get out of hosting the holidays at your house this year, here’s what
you do in 4.5 Easy Steps:
1: Tell everyone that you may, or may not poison the food.
2: Do a half-smile and wink 3 times.
3: Say, “I’m serious, though.” and wink once.
4: Fake cough.
4.5: Pivot turn, and run away in slow […]
Top 5 Places To Hide (GET RID OF) Elf On A Shelf:
5: In the garbage.
You know you hate that effing thing. Just throw it away.
4: In a foreign country.
UPS or FedEx ship it to any country, and poof, it’s gone.
3: Outside on a windy day.
Hopefully a big gust of wind will pick it up and […]
We got a lot of Bleeping Emails about these awesome drink recipes!
So here they are again. Being that we are seeing record temperatures across the nation, these delicious drink pop recipes might be just the think you need as we hustle into Christmas!
Give yourself an early Christmas gift and test these out!
Watermelon Margarita Poptails
Stop it! […]
The holiday season is a time of giving. And giving. And giving. And when your credit card is worn out, moths fly out of your wallet and you’ve exhausted your change jar, if you find there are still more people to give to, you may feel that all hope is lost. Never fear. You have […]
This week’s Would You Rather is holiday preparation inspired! And terrifying.
Would You Rather:
Be responsible for moving that blasted Elf on the Shelf for all of November AND December.
OR
Do all of your holiday shopping at the mall on Christmas Eve. And your very large family gives each member a gift.
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