Meet Bleeping Audrey:

Audrey is originally from Mars and moved to the States approximately 13 minutes ago.  She lives with her husband and two children.

She believes that the rhythm is gonna get her.  Tonight.

Audrey volunteers at a retirement facility that helps reconcile domestic disputes between aging fruits and vegetables.  She has fought tirelessly to gain cotton balls the right to vote.

She is the reigning Thumb War Champion (East Coast Division) and attributes her wins to her long time Thumb Coach, David Hasselhoff.

She dislikes bees.

Meet Bleeping Kerri

Kerri is a machine made of aluminum foil, disguised as a person.  Do not place her in the microwave.  She lives with her husband and two children.

Kerri is the Chief Officer for the Department of Water & Coffee for a small ant hill community in her backyard.  She believes that every toaster should be required to complete a high school education.  Period.

She has won 29 lawsuits against people for clapping too loudly.  Kerri has a patent pending on ground beef stuffed Teddy Bears.  If Mattel goes to market with this, you’ll know who thought of it FIRST!

She also dislikes bees.

Meet the Bleeping Cartoonist

Rob Dircks doesn’t have a bio.  We’re not sure he exists.  But every so often we receive a message and a cartoon.  Kind of screwed up.  One time he (if he is a he) told us he wrote books, too.  A spoof self-help book titled Unleash the Sloth! and a sci-fi/comedy/romance titled Where the Hell is Tesla?  We think he might be lying, but as long as the cartoons keep coming, we’re not asking questions.