My kids are the worst during diaper changing. They are strong little fuckers. They don’t sit still, and fight me during the ENTIRE diaper change. It’s wicked fun. Imagine now, changing their diaper and having to add a step because they have a diaper rash. Now I have to maneuver them in such a way […]
It’s hard not to love some Neil Patrick Harris
Top 5 “gently used” items that someone would definitely buy from you on Craigslist for $5. (You’d be surprised)
5: A Pregnancy Test
4: Diapers
3: Rectal Thermometer
2: Ginger (your recently deceased goldfish)
1: Your Neighbor’s Swedish Nanny
What is the oddest thing you ever bought on Craigslist?
Make 10 trips to the grocery store in the same day with four small children,
or
Perform sexual favors for 10 hours for one morbidly obese man
I don’t know what it is about the show “Chopped”, but I fucking love it. Maybe it’s the randomness of the basket contents, or how the chefs are forced to make a reduction out of watermelon Kool Aid, but I’m in.
I sometimes wonder if they have babies and small children putting the basket contents together. […]
Want to make life easier?
To get perfect little bite size pieces of food for your toddler, ditch the knife and use scissors. I do this with my kid’s chicken nuggets and it works great! If you don’t have any scissors available, try an ax. If no ax available, a chainsaw can be used in a […]
Mom Jeans!
https://screen.yahoo.com/mom-jeans-support-000000467.html
Top 5 Things I’d prefer to do in lieu of dealing with Common Core
5: Make out with a dog
Dog saliva has healing properties so heck, why not?
4: Go to second base with a dog for 5 seconds
I might do this anyway.
3: Get a transvaginal mesh implant
I don’t even know what the fuck a transvaginal mesh […]
Go to face-to-face confession with a Catholic priest (you haven’t been to confession in over 10 years AND you just robbed a bank)
or
Get really, really drunk and make another baby
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