Bleeping Michele is back with us again, sharing her top 5 favorite military acronyms.  I think it might be 5 of 473 acronyms which are part of daily life in a military household.  While she gave us the proper military use of them, we decided that they may have other meanings as well.

Military Acronyms Gone Rogue

• 5 – BAH – In the military, this means, Basic Army Allowance for Housing.  Hmmm – seems like it should have been BAAH, but maybe that would have implied the army was full of sheep.  Not the best image.  In our case, we think BAH stands for Bad-Ass Husband.  How many times have you seen the DH standing for Dear Husband and thought it was too sickeningly sweet of a way to refer to your own husband.  My husband is a bad-ass in his own nerdy, sciencey, grill-mastery way.  He can show that chicken breast or circular saw who is boss.  Let’s make BAH the new #badasshusband thing.  I see it trending.  Already.
• 4 – FRG – In the military, this stands for Family Readiness Group.  However, given the amount of times Bleeping Michele has told us the army is moving her further away from us, I think this should stand for For Real, Girl?!?  Next time someone gives you bad news over social media or text, you know you’ll be thinking FRG!?!
• 3 – POC – Point of contact is the military’s use of that.  Is that necessary?  Is it that hard to say, “contact” that it has to be acronymized?  That seems unnecessary.  Here at Bleeping Motherhood, we see it is Piece of Crap.  You may even begin to refer to the stack of half scribbles that your children call art as a pile of poc and get away with it!  Or when your dog shits in the grass and you need your BAH to clean it up before the kids runs through it – yell out – POC here!!
• 2 – AFTB – Army Family Team Building – a valid need for an acronym, although I can’t even imagine what those events look like.  I’m wondering if there are trust falls involved?  As For This Bitch, we’re steering clear of family trust falls.  Like that?  I’ll even use it in a sentence.  AFTB,  I’m waiting until the POC is cleaned up by my BAH before I go outside.
• 1 – CDC – Child Development Center.  Sorry military, I think someone’s already got this.  Like, the Center for Disease Control.  I can’t even imagine how a new military mom must feel sending her child to the CDC.  Personally, that might scare the shit out of me, like they’ll contract a new form of measles.

Thanks, Bleeping Michele, for sharing your other “language” with us.  We appreciate what you, your kids and your BAH sacrifice and how you torment yourselves in service to our country.  We’ll get right on a Would You Rather, Military Edition.  In the meantime, if you need a laugh (I said if, but I think probably when), grab a copy of our hilarious book, Bleeping Motherhood’s Would You Rather.  It might even help on those mom dates when your kids start chanting “poop!”.